


If You Love Me

by Leahlozer



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander cries, Dubious Consent, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, I'm an AWFUL person, It's fucked up guys, LOOK AWAY GRANDMA, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Shield your eyes Jesus, Smut, Tears, Virgin Alexander, fuck me up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leahlozer/pseuds/Leahlozer
Summary: Alexander is a virgin and wants to wait till marriage to have sex. Thomas grows tired and impatient with Alexander, threatening to leave if he doesn't have sex with him. How far would Alexander be willing to go to keep Thomas in his life?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is the first fanfiction I've posted here, I hope you like it! Just know to stay safe guys. I do not approve of this type of behavior nor do I wish it upon anyone. Just be careful who you get yourself mixed up with.

Alexander peeled off his coat and put it in the coat rack by the door. "Thomas? I'm back!" He walked to the kitchen to put away the small amount of groceries he had and proceeded to put them away. He didn't hear Thomas come up behind him, only felt his large hands squeeze Alexander's sides. Alex squeaked from surprise and ticklishness, nearly dropping the box of macaroni he had in his hand.   
Thomas laughed as Alexander slapped his arm, "Jesus Christ Thomas! You scared the shit out of me!"  
"I'm sorry! I couldn't miss an opportunity like that!" Thomas managed to get out through his chuckles. Alexander puffed his cheeks, "I need to go get dressed." He started walking from the kitchen to upstairs.   
"Oh may I join you?" Thomas grinned devilishly from the counter. All Alex did was was shake his head and wiggle his finger at him. Thomas sighed, "Well it was worth a shot." He put away the rest of the food and headed upstairs, Alex should be done by now. Thomas didn't bother knocking and opened the door, he heard a strangled gasp from Alex who was in his boxers.   
"Thomas! GET OUT!" He screamed. Thomas quickly slammed the door shut. It wasn't the first time it happened, they may live together but Alex was such a prude he only allowed them to sleep in the same bed. Not wanting to do anything remotely sexual before marriage was ridiculous in Thomas's eyes. Alex wouldn't even let him see him in his underwear, let alone naked. It was all very frustrating for Thomas. The amount of times he's had to jerk off in the shower was embarrassing to say the least, he just wanted some action from Alexander is that too much to ask?   
Alex seemed to think so.   
\------------   
Alex breathed heavily as the door slammed shut. His throat hurt slightly from the scream he gave Thomas and a blush made his whole neck, face, and ears red. Embarrassment creeped up inside him, weighing him down. Alexander sat down on the bed, his knees suddenly weak.   
He covered his face with his hands and took deep breaths. He didn't know why he was making such a big deal of this. It wasn't really, something inside him just didn't want to be so exposed to Thomas. He really loved Thomas, truthfully, but he wanted to keep his morals about sex. Thomas was a bit pushy in the matter, Alex would always deny him and life would go on. But Alex was so scared that Thomas would get sick of waiting one day.   
\------------   
Days after the incident went by normally, now Alex and Thomas were in their bedroom, Alex about to go to sleep when Thomas started kissing the back of his neck. Alex giggled at the sensation, "Thomas what are you doing?" Thomas continued to press gentle kisses on his neck as the hand he had wrapped around the front of Alex when up under his shirt and petting the skin of his stomach.   
"Thomas stop that tickles." Alex giggled at the ticklish sensation Thomas’s hand was giving him. He could feel Thomas smiling as he kissed further up his neck, Alex gasped when Thomas started to suck on the skin under his ear. His heart beat started beating a so fast all of a sudden. The sensation felt, good? But Alex felt uncomfortable suddenly.   
"Thomas, can you stop? That feels weird." Thomas ignored his request and continued to suck on his neck, his hand traveled farther up his shirt and grabbed at a Alexander's chest.   
"Thomas, stop it." Alex asked again. And was again ignored, Thomas moved to another spot on his neck that felt even more sensitive. "Thomas I said stop!" Alexander felt frozen as panic creeped up his back, he didn't like where this was going but his body couldn't move. He felt a pressure against his backside, oh no.   
"Thomas! I SAID STOP!" Alex screamed as his hands suddenly found strength to reach behind himself and push at Thomas. The pressure was finally off his backside and Alex could finally breathe.   
Alex sat up and crawled away from Thomas. "Thomas what the fuck was that?!" Alexander's hands were shaking and his voice was strained. Thomas raised his hands in mock surrender. "Aww come on Alexander. I was just trying to have a bit of fun with you."   
"This isn't funny Thomas. You know how I feel about that and you do it anyway!" Thomas' smile suddenly turned into a scowl. "Well maybe I wouldn't have to do that if you'd just let me do what I want in the first place! I'm starting to think you just don't want to have sex with me because you don't want to do it with me!"   
"Thomas you know that isn't true! I-" "You what, Alexander? You just don't love me is that it?" Alex began to tear up, "No Thomas-" "No Alexander I'm leaving."   
Thomas rolled off the bed and began to change out of his night clothes and into day clothes. "Thomas please!" Alexander cried from the bed. Thomas ignored him, taking off his night shirt and he searched for a clean one. Alex scrambled off the bed in a panic, nearly falling on his face. He grabbed Thomas' naked arm and buried his face in it, "Please don't go! I love you so much, please-!" Thomas shoved at him, causing Alex to fall to the floor. His hands hurt from catching himself. His elbows and knees were skinned from the fall but Alexander just hid his face on the floor. His forehead nearly touching it.   
"Okay! I'll let you do it," he lifted his face to stare at Thomas, "Just please don't go." Alexander fell silent. Thomas looked down at him and smirked. He squatted down to Alexander's place on the floor. Thomas wiped away some of the tears from his cheek and kissed his forehead. "I'll make it real good for you darlin'. You're gonna love it." Alex sniffled and stared at Thomas, "Please, just-..... just be gentle."   
Thomas' smirk widened as he kissed Alexander's mouth. Alexander nervously whimpered into the kiss, his hands shaking intensified. 'Okay, calm down Alex,' he thought to himself, 'This is your first time, he'll definitely be gentle right?' Alexander's nerves kept him on edge and his body refused to relax. Thomas stopped kissing and stood up, he help Alex up and lead him to the bed.   
He motioned for Alex to sit down. He did as he was told and sat at the edge, his body shaking. Thomas continued his kissing and his hands went to take off Alexander's shirt, their kissing only paused to pull the night shirt over his head. Thomas now had free reign to touch any part of him and that scared Alex honestly. This wasn't really how Alex had planned his first time with Thomas.   
Alex had hoped Thomas would marry him and then on the night of the wedding they would consummate to their marriage. But that's not how it was happening now. This felt forced, but Alex didn't want Thomas to leave him. Thomas hands travel down to Alexander's sweat pants and slid his hand into the front of them. Alex nearly jumped out of his skin as eager fingers wrapped around his soft cock. He never had someone touch him there before and he was frightened from the confusing sensations it gave him. Alex gasped as his pants were pulled down by Thomas, leaving him completely naked to Thomas' eyes.   
"You look so beautiful Alexander." He whispered into Alex's ear then nipped at it gently and stroked his most sensitive part. Alex grabbed onto Thomas' dark, naked arms to ground himself. Too much was happening and he was having sensory overload. "Thomas," he gasped, "slow-slow down. I can't-" Thomas shushed him and stroked him a bit slower, pushing Alexander's back onto the bed a bit forcefully. "Just relax." Thomas whispered. He stopped his touching to pull down his pants. Seeing Thomas fully naked made Alex blush, this was so embarrassing. His cock was half hard and Alex didn't know if Thomas would be able to fit any of that into him.   
He adjusted Alex to be against the pillows, Thomas then climbed up to kneel on the bed between Alex's legs. Alexander pushed his legs together, they shook as Thomas greedily soaked in Alexander’s naked frame. He suddenly felt self-conscious in front of Thomas’s hungry eyes. Alex also didn’t like the look he was giving him, he felt as though Thomas was going to eat him. Thomas leaned over to the bedside table and opened the drawer, picking up a tube of lube from inside of it. ‘This is it,’ Alexander’s mind was frantic by now.   
“Just relax darlin’. It’ll only hurt for a sec, you’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about at all.” Thomas spread Alexander’s legs and kissed his way down Alex’s slim thighs. Alexander couldn’t stop shaking, he wondered if he could still back out and say he simply wasn’t ready. Then he remembered the circumstances that got him in this situation, there was no other way, he needed Thomas. Thomas put some lube on his fingers, not enough in Alexander’s opinion, and gently pressed onto Alex’s opening. Thomas kissed him softly as he entered Alexander. Alex gasped, it felt very strange for something other than his own fingers there. Thomas’ fingers were far thicker and longer than his own, and Alexander only put his fingers up his backside once or twice. Everything felt too fast, Alexander had tears running down his face when Thomas fit in a second finger. It burned but that wasn’t the reason Alex was crying, he wasn’t ready. He wanted to scream stop but couldn’t for fear of Thomas leaving.   
Alexander let out a yelp when Thomas fit in yet another finger, his backside burned so bad he let out a choked sob. Thomas shushed him again, and continued to open him up. Alex’s body wouldn’t listen to him as he tried to make himself relax but it simply refused. Thomas finally pulled out his fingers, Alex wasn’t prepared to be flipped over and Thomas push into him. Alex cried out in pain, he felt as if he was being split in two. Tears fell down his face, Thomas buried Alexander’s face into the pillows to keep him quiet. “Shh, be quiet. The neighbors might hear us sweetheart.” Alexander sobbed in response but the sound was muffled by the pillow in his face. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, Thomas’ presence was no longer one of protection but an overwhelming figure above him. He was everywhere in Alexander’s senses and he couldn’t take it. But he had to do this, to keep Thomas.   
Thomas began to move himself in and out of Alexander, each thrust made Alex cry out. “T-Thomas pl-ease!” He managed through his sobbing, it didn’t get the desired effect. Thomas went faster, he took it the wrong way. Alex cried into the pillow his face was shoved in. Tears, snot and saliva soaked into the pillow making Alexander want to throw up even more than he already did. ‘Is this what the first time feels like?! Why would anyone like this?!’ He felt Thomas’ lips on his neck, he mumbles sweet nothings into Alexander’s ear but he couldn’t hear anything through his own sobs and cries. He felt something run down his thighs and he was sure it was blood. How could there not be when he felt like he’s been torn a new asshole? Thomas holds onto Alex’s arm and hip in a bruising grip as he continues to drive into Alex.   
‘When is he going to stop,’ Alex thought through his whimpers and yelps. The vice grip Thomas had on him tightened, Alex thought his arm was going to break. He felt something spill into his backside, he whimpered at the stinging it left in the no doubt bloody mess down there. ‘I won’t be able to sit for a month after this,’ Alex sobbed into the pillow and shivered as Thomas pulled out of him. Alexander’s head was suddenly jerked backwards by his hair and pulled to Thomas’. Alex sobbed at the pain he was in, the words ‘stop’ trying to make their way out of his mouth as Thomas pressed their lips together in a kiss. Alex was beyond relieved for it to finally be over, he whimpered into the kiss.   
“You felt so good Alexander, very good.” He laid next to Alex and kissed his neck gently, Alex tried his best to not flinch away from Thomas’ touches. “Can I-I go to sleep now? I’m so tired,” he made his voice as even as possible. “But you didn’t cum sweetheart, I can help you with that.” Before Alexander could process what was said Thomas was over him again, he kissed Alex’s thighs before kissing the tip of Alexander’s dick. A strangled gasp escaped his mouth as Thomas took Alex into his mouth and sucked. Alex was overwhelmed all over again, to many feelings were hitting him at once. He was confused again. This felt good, really good. Alexander closed his eyes and welcomed the warm and pleasant sensations wash over him. He grabbed at Thomas’ curly hair, to feel somewhat grounded. It felt amazing when he finally spilled his load into Thomas’ waiting mouth. Then pain made him snap out of the euphoria he was in, it was from shifting weirdly against the bed. Then he remember the pain and it came back to him, he groaned lowly as Thomas laid back down behind him. Tears ran down his face as Thomas whispered a goodnight into his ear.   
\----------   
Alexander couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard he tried. Alexander untangled himself from Thomas and limped to the bathroom. He made it and sat on the tubs edge, looking himself over. Dried blood and cum clung to the backs of his thighs and knees, he glanced at the door and looked at himself through the full length mirror. He looked a mess, his hair a rat's nest, his eyes red, and his neck was all marked up. He looked away, how could he let this happen? How could he break his morals? How dare he go against his mother’s teachings? Tears welled up in his eyes and he sobbed like a child seeking his mother’s embrace. “I need Thomas, I need him.” He sobbed out his whole body shaking, “I need him.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
